| |
| |
|
Dating Information |
|
|
|
A Nice Guys Guide to Dating Success
Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever had the experience of liking a woman, being a perfect gentleman, and treating her like a queen, only to have her reject you in favor of someone else (possibly very handsome) who doesn't treat her right, or doesn't seem to care about her much at all? These kinds of men have been called "bad boys," "charm boys," or "players." When you are interested in women, do they tend to see you as a friend or "brother" rather than a romantic interest? Do women tell you you're "too nice"? If so, you are not alone. This article will give you, the nice guy, some tips on how to use charm-boy traits to your advantage, while retaining your nice-guy values. Let's brainstorm for a minute. What makes charm boys or players attractive? They are fun, spontaneous, unpredictable, mysterious, and act as if they don't care what others think of them (also known as confidence). They follow their own rules and don't let others (including their dates) walk all over them. And they often look good. So what can you do? You don't have to engage in risk-taking behaviors in order to succeed with women. Suggest some "safe" ideas on the spur of the moment; for example, "Let's go get some sushi/ice cream/a Margarita," or, "Let's go for a drive and see where we end up." If this is not the usual "you," you may enjoy your new-found spontaneity. You can be mysterious/unpredictable without violating your principles. Don't call her the day after getting her phone number or the day after a date. Give her time to wonder whether you'll call; keep her guessing. People often want what isn't easy to get, and women like a little challenge. You're the man. Many women are looking for men who are confident and decisive, who can be relied on to get things done. On a date, take command but don't be pushy. Always have a Plan A and a Plan B, so you don't miss the concert just in case the restaurant loses your reservation and there's a 1-1/2-hour wait. But always be flexible, in case your date hates Chinese food, for example, or she just told you her favorite musical group is in town, tonight only. Low-cost dates conducive to getting to know each other include the zoo, a museum, or miniature golf. In addition to saving you money, these low-cost dates also minimize the feeling that you have to "spoil" her or "buy" her affection with an extravagant wining-and-dining evening. And if she likes you, she won't mind a "cheap" date; she just wants to be with you. Keep it light and upbeat. Don't be needy or act nervous. You might be a bit anxious while on a date, but she doesn't need to know that. Keep things light and humorous, and pay attention to her. That in itself will help you take the focus off you and help you feel more confident. And be a gentleman (you're already good at this). For example, always offer to pick up the tab unless she insists on paying, open doors for her, etc. But don't overdo the gifts, lest you appear desperate. Let her talk. This is where nice guys have an advantage. Most women like to communicate verbally and welcome the chance to be heard. (But make sure you listen; don't just let your mind wander.) She will be impressed if you remember details about things that are important to her, such as her pet's name or her favorite book. If you met her online, review her profile for questions you can ask her about her interests. Neatness counts. Take another hint from the charm boys. You don't have to be a Brad Pitt look-alike, but make the most of what you have. Review your grooming, clothes, and accessories with an objective eye. If you want feedback, ask a friend--possibly a female friend--for honest input. Or tune into one of the new TV shows which focus on wardrobe/grooming tips for men. Have a life (and a backbone). Just because you are dating a woman doesn't mean you drop everything else (including your own friends, hobbies, and interests). After all, relationships can come and go. Keep being yourself. You are not always at her beck and call. When you really don't want to do something (for example, if she wants you to cancel your ballgame or night out with your friends to go shoe shopping with her), it's okay to decline. Telling her no may be difficult for nice guys, but if she's worth keeping, she will respect you for this and value her time with you more. To soften the blow, you might offer her an alternative get-together. For example, "Sorry I can't make it on Saturday. How about I take you to that new play you've been wanting to see on Sunday instead?" How does she rate? Remember: You have the right to evaluate her, not just the other way around. Does she deserve a second date? Is she relationship material (if that's what you're looking for)? Just because she's attractive/smart/classy doesn't necessarily mean she's right for you. Does she treat you well? Is she kind? Does she have decent self-esteem? Is she giving? If you're looking for a long-term relationship, can you see yourself still with her in 20 years, when some of the supermodel looks may have begun to fade? The good news for nice guys is that as women get older, perhaps having survived a bad-boy heartbreak or two, they are more likely to appreciate nice guys. Make a list of your good points, the qualities you have to offer. Keep at it. And start believing that you are a catch (or at least act like it)! For more information, visit the author's website http://www.therapy-conscious.com Copyright 2004, Ann L. Palik Ann L. Palik is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, California, specializing in helping single people create healthy relationships.
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Are You Up For The Challenge Back in 2004, I met a gentleman who was interested in getting to know me better. After a few discussions of finding out what I needed to know, I decided to participate. How to Get a Girl to Like You We've all had that special woman in our lives. You know. 8 Things That Maketh Not The Lady 1. Tattoos. What are Seduction Lairs? Are you familiar with Seduction Lairs and how to use them to your advantage?They are around purely for your benefit if you wish to get better with women. If you want to get better with women it will help you if you find other individuals who share the same goals to keep you motivated and learn from. Reading People: Body Language Briefing Body language is the meaning behind the words or the "unspoken" language. Surprisingly, studies show that only up to an estimated 10 percent of our communication is verbal. Online Dating - 5 Essential Safety Tips So, you've decided to take the plunge and follow in the footsteps of countless other singles who know that online dating is a successful route to meeting new friends and finding the perfect partner. But, what do you do when you find someone you like?Initially, you'll want to keep all communication by email and get to know a little more about the other person. Free Online Chat! What Are The True Costs Of Free As you're surfing the Internet and coming across titles claiming free online chat? What does this mean, and is it really for free?Most dating chat rooms and free online dating chat lines allege that the service they offer have no charge, but as you get familiar with a particular chat room, you soon find out there is a price associated to their online service!Now it all depends on what you're looking for in a chat service, and in order to find the right one for you without paying un-necessary fees!You should ask yourself, is this going to be for the free games, or for the entertainment of a chat room, where you can meet, and talk to interesting people from all over the world?Do you want to go a step further and get involved in free dating, and try and meet someone special for a possible love match.Chat rooms can be a great place to get your voice out into the world and get noticed; however, our goal is to inform you of your options, and that not all chat sites are created equal. Overcoming Your Nervousness About Talking to Women Standing at the magazine rack thumbing through Cosmo, she has the most gorgeous face you've ever seen. Her hair is silky blond. Long Distance Dating: Romantic or Frantic? It sounds like something out of a fairy tale. She's in Los Angeles: he's in New York. Online Dating Beginners Quiz Free dating online-you've heard about it, you've read about it, maybe you even have a friend who's doing it. You're thinking of giving it a try yourself. Dating: How & Where To Meet Single, Alluring, Sexy & Beautiful Women Of Your Dreams Are you a lonely man?When was the last time you went out on date with a sensuous, sexy and beautiful woman of your dream?Would you like to spark up your romantic life?It has been reported that there are more single women in US than available men.And if you ask most single beautiful women they will tell you that they have a problem finding their dream men because all the good guys seem to have been taken. Russian Women - TOP 3 Reasons You Should Marry A Russian Woman Do you know everything about Russian women that could help you get the 'perfect' wife?Are you sure a Russian woman is the most important thing possible in your life?Bear with me, I'm going to reveal you the TOP 3 reasons why you should marry a Russian woman and have a happy marriage with her.TOP Reason 1Russian women are known for their beauty. Have You Lost That Loving Feeling? Would you like to discover Easy and Creative ideas to enhance & create romance ! Regain that In love feeling , that you once shared.. The Right Dating Site For You There are so many dating sites on the net these days. The secret is to find a online dating service that will make your quest for a compatible partner successful. Looks or Heart? No matter how you want to spin it, beautiful people are just that, beautiful. However, to what degree does it play into you finding your perfect match?Seemingly, most of us are engulfed by a blitzing media that sells everything from lingerie to exotic cars with some gorgeous blonde or brunette sitting next to it. Googling for Love Google: (GOO.gul) v. Dating Advice: Common Interest Results in Happy Marriages How often do your married friends complain about husbands who spend weekends on the couch watching games? Did they not notice these guys were sports fanatics while they were dating? Did they think things would change after the wedding?Life is fraught with ups and downs, so it's critical to marry someone you can have fun with, today and fifty years from now. Here's how you can find that person:1. Why Date Someone You Wouldnt Have As Your Friend? Sometimes in dating we so often settle for people that we would not normally have as friends? Why is that? Does the desire to be in a relationship outweigh our standards in love that we will take on a relationship with someone that isn't good for us? I think that we often let loneliness overshadow our standards that we set. We need to stick to our desires and not engage ourselves into relationships that we wouldn't ordinarily engage in. Creating a Great Online Dating Profile First impressions are important, which is why it is essential to create an appealing, but honest profile of yourself. After all, this is the only information that a potential suitor has to go on initially and the decision on whether or not to contact you will be based upon what he or she reads in your profile. Does No mean Yes? A recent sexual assault on our campus was a wake-up call to those who thought that our small-town university was safe. But rape by strangers is only one aspect of the problem.
|
| Article List | Index | Site Map |
|
All logos, trademarks and articles on this site are property and copyright of their respective owner(s).
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest is Copyright © 2006 CanadaSEEK.com - All Rights Reserved. |
