Parenting Information

10 Points on Children for the New Parent


I remember when my daughter was born, later my son. According to many well meaning individuals, I should've done this, should've done that and maybe improved in some areas.

Most times I appreciated their pearls of wisdom because they made sense. At other times the line dividing the 'yes we can talk about this' crossed over into 'the no go zone' and I would bristle and spit like an angry cat! In the end, for my sanity, I did it my way.

I'm a granny now and I now provide well meaning advice to my daughter who is much like me - you can well imagine what she's thinking!

I returned to the workforce within 12 months after each pregnancy, and every time I found I was in conflict with me. One part of me wanted to get out there again, and the other didn't want to leave my children. Although I was getting my life back, inwardly I still wondered whether I was doing the right thing or not. I worked through it with the support and love of very dear friends and now am glad I did things the way I did. I'm proud to say my children have turned out to be exceptional individuals who love me as much as I love them.

The following worked extremely well for me and may also do likewise for you:

1. Take the words of others in good grace - accept what you know will be the most congruent for yourself and family. At the end of the day, friends, acquaintances and other family members who give advice on how you should be doing it, live under a different roof.

2. If confused about all the advice you receive from others, take some time to ask yourself "what is important to me in all this?"

3. Do yourself a favour - arm yourself with the knowledge that if you join support groups or socialise with others, there will be times you're going to receive unsolicited advice. Just smile and nod.

4. If you find yourself in states of hopelessness, sadness, and gloom you're unable to shake regardless of what you do - seek help from professionals. I had post natal depression with both my children and it wasn't until I actually started to receive the help I needed that I could finally see the light around me.

5. Make a list of three different things you do each day that creates anxiety for you. With each point ask yourself the five questions below:

"What is the purpose of doing this?"

"How important is doing this, really?"

"What do I need to do now that will help reduce my anxiety?"

"What is the positive aspect of this?"

"What is it costing me?"

When you're done, put your list away and come back to it later. Once you read the list again, check if you still feel the same about the three points. If you do, brainstorm a few ideas on how you could do things differently. If the points no longer having pulling power and you're ok with it - congratulate yourself!

6. Start a meditation program. Use this opportunity for some 'me time'. If you're new to meditation, there are some great how to books out there, CD's and meditation workshops. There's even an e-book titled 'Book of 10 Colour Meditation Scripts' so you can record your voice using these scripts written by yours truly.

7. Slowly start doing some of the things you used to prior to baby arriving - it is possible. Start with the absolute smallest and gradually work your way up. I started writing bits of poetry, and lists, I often wrote lists and loved it.

8. Retain your identity by keeping in contact with friends - even if it's only by phone.

9. Self esteem may plummet to an all time low; sleep deprivation a common event, and you may experience discomfort as your identity shifts from the old you to the new you. There is an upshot to all this (there's always one). You've taken on one of society's biggest roles - that of motherhood with your child potentially a future leader of this country!

10. Enjoy and make the very most of this precious time because it will pass much too quickly. Although a grandmother now, I still remember the day my daughter and son was born. It's as clear as if it happened yesterday.

I've never been more exhausted than when my children were little. Sleep deprivation was torture so in order to cope I let go of being the perfect house cleaner, cook, and social butterfly - the perfect someone. It simply wasn't important anymore and knew it was all there waiting for me when the time was right, and know it will for you too.

Michaela is a Transformational Coach, certified practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), writer and Metaphysician who is totally committed to helping others create positive and action oriented changes to their lives (see http://www.michaelascherr.com)

Michaela is the author of several e-books including Book of 10 Colour Meditation Scripts and publisher of a monthly newsletter called From My Desk.

Married to David, Michaela has two children and a grandchild and currently lives in Brisbane Australia.

  


MORE RESOURCES:

ABC News

Free-Range Parenting Debate: Should Kids Be Allowed to Roam Unsupervised?
ABC News
Rafi and Dvora Meitiv were walking home from the park recently in Silver Spring, Maryland, when they were suddenly confronted by strangers. Not a gang member, or a bully, or a child molester, but the police. “We were over here about to cross the street ...
Free range parenting: controversial method explainedW*USA 9

all 8 news articles »


Are We Having Fun Yet? New Book Explores The Paradox Of Parenting
NPR
JENNIFER SENIOR: It's a very economical way of describing, I think, the experience of parenting. It's a phrase that a friend of mine used almost parenthetically. It was this very offhand kind of comment that he had made when he became a new dad. He ...

and more »


Free-range parenting discussion misses the bigger picture
Washington Post
Child welfare rarely gets covered by the news media unless there is a tragedy. But the case of a Silver Spring family under investigation by Montgomery County's Child Protective Services for allowing their 10- and 6-year-old children to walk home alone ...

and more »


Common-sense parenting
Washington Post
As I told my children when they occasionally wanted to do something I was not inclined to let them do, there are a lot of questionable people out there. I trusted my kids, but I didn't trust the rest of the world. This is not helicopter parenting. It's ...



Funniest Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week
Huffington Post
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents ...



Muncie Star Press

John Rosemond: More 'just plain nuts' parenting
Muncie Star Press
My column of a few weeks back in which I described real-life parenting scenarios that qualified the parents in question for a diagnosis of “just plain nuts” was a big hit. Since it ran, readers have sent me numerous examples of parents who indeed seem ...



Voice of America

Understanding the Teen Brain Key for Better Parenting
Voice of America
Neuroscientist Frances Jensen has been studying the human brain for almost all of her career. But even she wasn't ready for the challenge of two teenage sons. Her challenge: try to find out why smart and responsible teenagers also act impulsively and ...

and more »


Times Record News

Free-Range Parenting Debate Misses a Critical Point
Huffington Post
As a result, Danielle and Alexander Meitiv are being investigated by the Montgomery County Child Protective Services. The debate about it continues to rage. I now that many other psychologists are weighing in on the appropriateness of this form of ...
Investigation into Md. 'free-range parenting' case unresolved after meetingWashington Post

all 13 news articles »


Christian Post

4 Tips for Parenting an Adult Child Who Has Made Poor Choices
Christian Post
Unfortunately, even good parents might one day see their adult children make poor choices. Here at Focus we've spoken with many heartbroken moms and dads who are grappling to understand and respond well to their grown kids' decisions. Here are four ...



Learn strategies for parenting in an over-sexualized world
wtvr.com
RICHMOND, Va – Liz Pearce of Commonwealth Parenting and Brantley Holmes, Women's Health Nurse Practitioner with Henrico County Department of Health, stopped by the studio to talk about the upcoming RVA Parents Forum, 'Parenting in an ...


Google News

Article List | Index | Site Map
All logos, trademarks and articles on this site are property and copyright of their respective owner(s).
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest is Copyright © 2006 CanadaSEEK.com - All Rights Reserved.