Parenting Information

6 Signs You're A High Maintenance Parent


The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering college in increasing numbers. Getting into the best schools is increasingly competitive. Having good grades, a great SAT score and participating in extracurricular activities is no assurance that your student will get into the school of their choice.

Because of that phenomenon, parents are taking a much more active role in their children's college admission process. But for some parents, participation in their child's college search has led to a troubling development that college admissions officers are seeing more frequently.

It is the High Maintenance Parent (HMP). And college admissions officers are reporting it more and more. If you answer yes to any of these six questions, you may be a High Maintenance Parent.

1. Does your child barely know what's on their college application but you can quote every word in their personal essay (because you wrote it)?

Students who don't take an active role in their college planning and admission process tend not to be successful in college. Students need to take ownership of the process because it's their future on the line. It's time to cut the umbilical cord and let little Johnny fail or succeed. In the end it's a disservice to your child if you do the work for him.

2. Is the admissions officer at the school of your choice on your speed dial and recognizes your voice or phone number when you call?

You want your child to be memorable, not you. Don't be a pest. It can count against your child.

3. Are you asking (or telling) your child to apply to schools that they are not interested in just so YOU can brag that they got into Harvard, Stanford, etc?

It's hard enough for your child to do everything necessary to apply to college without the added stress of completing applications for schools they don't want to go to. This is not the time to relive your past or try to out-Jones the Joneses'.

4. Is your "back-up" strategy for financial aid to tell the financial aid officer that your child is so smart, talented, etc that they should pay you to LET your child attend XYZ University?

By knowing your expected family contribution before applying, you save yourself from the potential surprise of getting an award letter with less aid then you were expecting. And make sure you research the college's financial aid policy to know if you have a circumstance that would cause the school to revisit your award letter.

5. Have you talked to your attorney about suing your child's high school because she did not get the special attention she needed in high school, and thus, will not be able to attend the university of her choice?

Be an active parent throughout your child's education, don't start in her senior year as she applies to colleges. The reality is, at that point it's too late. If she needs special attention in high school make sure she gets it.

6. Have you asked the guidance counselor at the high school to purge evidence of cheating, truancy or other discipline problems from your child's record in order to increase their chance of getting into the college of their choice? If so, you are DEFINITELY a High Maintenance Parent!

You put your child and all other students applying from that high school at risk by asking guidance counselors to lie by omission. If admissions personnel find that student records are being sanitized, they can refuse to admit anyone from a particular high school.

College admissions is a competitive process with each party looking to get the best result. Admissions officers are responsible for admitting a diverse student body. They want students that will reflect the values of the institution and who will be a positive contribution to the student body. Now, while they are still in your house, is the time to impart those values and position your child to be an asset to the student body.

Balanced against the school's needs is the student's desire to be admitted. The best way for you to help your child is by being an advocate and mentor, but realize, ultimately the decision and experience of college will be up to your child.

Copyright 2004. All Rights Reserved.

Felicia Caldwell Gopaul, CFP, CCPS specializes in late-stage college funding planning utilizing unique tax, financial and academic strategies that can dramatically lower college costs and still enable parents to save for retirement and other financial priorities.

If you are confused or overwhelmed by the college planning process and want more information on how to get started, call (201) 453-9875 or visit www.CollegeFundingResource.com

  


MORE RESOURCES:

Forbes

The Truth About Parenting And Smartphones
Forbes
Recently, journalists and researchers have been blaming smartphones for bad parenting. They want us to put down our devices and focus on our children. But they've got it all wrong. It is no wonder that anxiety plagues the modern human. We seem ...



Rosemond: Older parenting rules might be worth a try
News & Observer
As the old parenting point of view fell out of fashion beginning in the late 1960s, the vernacular that accompanied it all but completely disappeared. Today's parents don't say to their children the sorts of things parents said to children in the 1950s ...

and more »


Parenting skills workshop to be held
Thehour.com
WILTON -- Parents looking for essential skills that can help them focus on their children's character and purpose, and not just on good grades and trophies, are invited to attend parenting coach Laura Gauld's free workshop: Parenting: The Biggest Job ...

and more »


Funniest Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week
Huffington Post
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents ...

and more »


Mother Earth News

Intentional Legacy: Writing Your Own Parenting Book
Mother Earth News
This clearly is a very brief description, but in my coming posts, I trust you will learn more about me, my thoughts, and how I weave family and parenting into most of what I observe and write about. I firmly believe that many of our world's ills can be ...



New York Times

Things Dr. Spock Never Suggested
New York Times
The answer was offered in a recent episode of one of the more jaw-dropping reality shows of the summer, Bravo's “Extreme Guide to Parenting,” on Thursday nights. Each installment looks at a family that has adopted a child-rearing philosophy well out of ...



ROCKETNEWS24

Chinese parenting posters from 1952 gave insightful advice that still makes ...
ROCKETNEWS24
A set of parenting posters produced in Shanghai in 1952 reveals some golden words that were given to parents of that time. Time and technology may have changed the way parents and children interact these days, but these 62-year-old parenting tips are ...



Lopez's tongue-in-cheek 'lecture' touches on parenting, body image
Buffalo News
Step aside, oh venerable parenting author. We've got George Lopez and Raising Kids 101. “Your kids couldn't last a day in your childhood,” Lopez said to his sold-out audience Saturday night in the Seneca Niagara Events Center. The crowd laughed and ...



Schultz: Parenting Is Full of Goodbyes
The News Herald
Every generation, it seems, must learn the same lessons, and nowhere is this more evident than in the incremental separation required in parenting. Day care to preschool to college, we usher them through a new doorway, and they return to us changed by ...



TIME

How Couples Play With Dolls Predicts Their Parenting Style, Study Says
TIME
Being parents often throws otherwise seemingly happy couples for a loop. (See: Jon Hamm and Kristen Wiig in Friends With Kids.) The stresses of having to monitor a new human 24/7, the triangulation of the relationship and the differences in parenting ...
Study: Playing with dolls can indicate a couple's parenting styleThe Week Magazine
Expectant Parents' Play with Doll Predicts Later Parenting BehaviorOhio State University
Playing with children may predict parenting behaviour: studyCTV News

all 28 news articles »

Google News

Article List | Index | Site Map
All logos, trademarks and articles on this site are property and copyright of their respective owner(s).
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest is Copyright © 2006 CanadaSEEK.com - All Rights Reserved.