| |
| |
|
Divorce Information |
|
|
|
Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When Youre Staying Married Only For Your Children
All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce. As a parent, you should know your children better than anyone...use your best judgment with your children during considering divorce. This "divorce and children" article is for parents who are certain that they would get a divorce if they didn't have children and want to decide what to think about regarding the effects a divorce would have on their children. Children of divorced parents can actually live wonderful lives as long as the parents use proper judgment and create the right types of interactions between themselves and with each other. This article on this web page does not suggest that divorce is the correct course of action for you and it in no way should be taken as a form of counseling to you. This article is merely to spark you to think logically and then make your own decision about divorce and your children. As previously stated, every child is different and subsequently, every child responds to divorce in a different way. If you think there's a definitive answer about how divorce affects children, you are mistaken. There's been hundreds of books written about this subject and a plethora of studies done regarding divorce and children, all citing differing opinions and using different statistical constraints and inputs. But, statistics can only go so far...if you know your children better than anyone else, you will know best how they'll be affected by a divorce. How divorce affects children and what you should do if you're staying married solely because you have children is complicated issue. Here's some things you may want to consider if you're a parent who is staying married just because you have children: Children and divorce consideration 1: Make sure that you are, in fact, only staying married just because you have children. Often times people use the children as an excuse not to get a divorce because they aren't really sure that they want a divorce or have some other fear regarding divorce. Those fears can be present due to finance, self-confidence, living arrangements, or other personal issues. Before you really take the next steps in deciding whether or not to get a divorce because of your children, rank your reasons for divorce and make sure that you're really certain you'd get a divorce if you didn't have children. Children and divorce consideration 2: Make sure 'guilt' isn't the real reason that you aren't getting a divorce. The 'guilt' referenced above is the guilt brought on by thinking that your divorce will hurt your children. In and of itself, this feeling of guilt is a selfish one if you haven't really examined carefully if a divorce will have an adverse effect on your children. If you aren't getting divorced because of guilt in this regard, but you still have an unhappy marriage that is affecting your children, then you aren't really staying married for them, you're staying married for you because you feel guilty...this is selfish. Children and divorce consideration 3: Once you've clearly defined that you are in fact, not getting a divorce solely because you have children, examine why you think divorce will adversely affect your children. Remember, divorce can have a negative effect on children initially, but that doesn't necessarily mean that a divorce will be a negative influence on your children forever. Decide whether or not your children have the resiliency, the intelligence, the emotional health, and the support they'd need to mitigate the adverse effects that a divorce would have on them. Will they be happy after the initial shock of the divorce is worked through? Children and divorce consideration 4: Once you've really defined what you believe to be negative effects on your children due to divorce, think about what your children's life will be like in the immediate and distant future if you do actually go through with the divorce. Ask yourself, "Can I create and maintain a healthy environment for my children if I do get a divorce?" One thing that is a critical factor in this decision is the feasibility of you and your spouse getting a divorce amicably. If you and your spouse can go through a divorce amicably, and you both can agree to always put your children's welfare above your own, you will be one step ahead. Again, make sure you are certain a divorce is necessary to create the right type of environment for your children. Assure that there is absolutely no way you can rekindle your marriage. Usually, divorce represents the first real trauma of a child's life. Keep this in mind when your making your divorce decision. Divorce is a serious step and nothing should be done until your're certain that divorce is the best course of action. Getting a divorce without making sure that divorce is the right thing is selfish on your part and is the wrong thing to do to your children...after all, they deserve your best effort! One thing should remain constant...that you and your spouse will always be there for your children, no matter what. Karl Augustine, Author of "A Practical Guide To
Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce".
MORE RESOURCES:
divorce - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Coping With Divorce Anger Successfully releasing your anger will help you begin healing after your divorce. Right now you may feel a great deal of rage at your ex-husband. 3 Major Divorce Parenting Mistakes And Learn How To Avoid Them What 3 major divorce parenting mistakes that surely lead to unhappy, unhealthy and unsuccessful children? Parents know these for your children seek.1. Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in matrimony, they swear and vow to honor and respect each other and to remain partners both during good and bad times.But in most marriages, this is not always the case. Divorce Online Sevice - Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce? Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means of struggle against bureaucracy are undertaken constantly and sometimes successfully. Today it is possible to fill in a tax declaration, apply for bankruptcy or to receive a legal consultation. The Legal Side of Divorce While divorce can be an emotionally draining experience, even in the best of situations, it can also be a complicated legal matter that affects both parties equally. No matter how long your marriage has lasted or how few belongings you share together, it is also best to involve an attorney in your divorce proceedings. Divorce: Coping With The Family Law Process The EmotionsDivorce is a scary, lonely and misunderstood process for most people, particularly when there are children involved. The mutual friends enjoyed during the marriage may not be of help because those individuals may not want to "pick a side. Surviving Life After Divorce After divorce, the most important thing you can do is to move forward sensibly. Here are ten steps to help you on your way back to a fulfilling life. Stop Divorce: Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If Youre Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce? Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Credit and Divorce Mary and Bill recently divorced. Their divorce decree stated that Bill would pay the balances on their three joint credit card accounts. Divorce Roadmap: The Route Around the Legal System Let's look at how a divorce case works so you can see what you face and how you can beat the legal system. The legal divorce process is similar in all states, but there are two common sets of terms. Commitment Being marriage means being fully committed to your husband as to the Lord. Look at Ephesians 5:22 it says Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Five Christmas Survival Tips For The Divorced & Single Parent For the over 50% of marriages that end in divorce, Christmas can be a hugely trying time.Since the season is one of the most stressful times of the year anyway, this onslaught of raw emotion to the divorcee can be overwhelming. The Job of a Divorce Attorney Marriage is a very solemn and serious chapter on any person's life. However, due to personal reasons, a couple may decide to call everything off and file a divorce. What Are You Waiting For? So, you've decided that you're no longer "a couple", but for whatever reason, you and your spouse have decided to stay together "for the sake of the children".Isn't that what the children need? Don't they need the strength of a two parent household in this mad society that we live in? Don't they need the emotional assurance that Mom AND Dad are together? Don't they? Or do they?When my ex and I decided to divorce, we decided that he should probably live in the house with the children and I, for their sakes. Effects of Divorce on Children When a couple decides their marriage is over, a tremendous sense of grief and relief are felt. A recently divorced person will feel grief over the loss of their marriage and the loss of their partner in life. Grieving the End of Your Marriage, as You Know it The pain of finding out that your partner is cheating on you can be the worst pain you'll feel in your entire life. What is happening to you, you may wonder. Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When Youre Staying Married Only For Your Children All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce. Divorce Makes Us Stronger My friends call me the "Divorce Poster Child".At the age of 20 I was married, and by 22 I had our first child. Marriage Seperation - A Practical Guide Finance in marriage seperation is a very big issue particularly with regards to the mortgage and household bills. When marriage seperation is inevitable obviously both parties need somewhere to stay and often it can be quite difficult to sell one property and then try to finance two. How Thinking About An Uncontested Divorce Figures Into Your Decision About Divorce An uncontested divorce is the most common type of divorce. An uncontested divorce is a divorce that occurs when there are no disagreements between spouses over divorce related issues like custody, finances, living arrangements, spousal support, child support, etc.
|
| Article List | Index | Site Map |
|
All logos, trademarks and articles on this site are property and copyright of their respective owner(s).
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest is Copyright © 2006 CanadaSEEK.com - All Rights Reserved. |
