| |
| |
|
Grief & Loss Information |
|
|
|
Death, Close and Personal
I got an email recently from someone whose mother died. She knew I'd suffered the loss of my mother and wanted some insight on how to deal with it. Unfortunately for her, I had no advice...shit...I'm still dealing with it. Every single day I think about my mother. I think about her living and breathing. Talking to me, laughing with me, yelling at me. But I never, ever think about her death. This email made me think of that so I began resenting that email. I began resenting that someone else had to deal with a mother who was dead. And I really resented that someone thought I was an expert on dealing with dead mothers. If you get to be an expert on anything...the last thing you want to be is an expert on dead mothers. When I clean my home, I remember doing the same with my mother. Saturday was cleaning day and I always equate lemon fresh Pledge with her. I think of my mother often. I miss her every single day. I find myself wondering...I wonder what my mother would think of this duvet cover. Or I wonder what she would think of my efforts to create a beautiful home. I know it's weird that I know she's gone but I don't wonder about her as if she's dead...I wonder about her as if she's still in Louisiana wondering what I'm doing too. I know...crazy me. Death is pretty permanent. It's as permanent as it gets actually. It's the end. I like to think of my mother being everywhere. I don't like thinking of her as a skeleton in a casket under 6 feet of dirt on the side of an old church in the country. That's too permanent. I didn't have much to offer she-whose-mother-just-past. I don't know her that well so was unable to infer much. I offered what I could. A place to come and rest and just be without the responsibility of dealing with death. Granted, with her in my home, in my space, in my world I...would have the responsibility of dealing with death. With personal death. With my own permanent tragedy. I invited her into my haven where I am safe from all things painful and I helped her in a very small way deal with her mother's death at the expense of my peace. She left yesterday and I turned to my guy and the normalcy of my life to bring me back from my abyss. I, Monica Lenay Pattan Mingo, a self-professed, uptight, prude bitch, allowed someone to hurt me without knowing because I knew how badly she was hurting. I didn't feel a kinship with her. I just felt renewed in my own personal, permanent pain, in my infinite grief. And I left knowing only one sure thing...I'm not cut out to be a hero.
MORE RESOURCES:
grief loss - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
On Empathy The Encyclopaedia Britannica (1999 edition) defines empathy as:"The ability to imagine oneself in anther's place and understand the other's feelings, desires, ideas, and actions. It is a term coined in the early 20th century, equivalent to the German Einfühlung and modelled on "sympathy. Trial by Fire - 9 Tips for Grieving Couples You will often hear that grief and loss bring couples together, but it can actually do just the opposite. It is possible to emerge on the other side of grief with a closer marriage, but it does take work. Grief Support: The Don'ts 1) Don't try to make the grieving person feel better. YOU CANNOT. In the Blink of an Eye Today's Quote: "My house is burned down, but I can see the sky." Sally Reed, cancer survivorThirty five years ago this weekend, my father died. The Twists and Turns of Life When I was born in 1962 I thought life was good. I had two parents, a twin sister, and an older brother. Traumas as Social Interactions ("He" in this text - to mean "He" or "She").We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Guilty, Your Honor: The Burden of Guilt After a Suicide Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so horrible that you would prefer to hide in a dark closet for the rest of your life than have someone find out you did it? Have you ever done something so bad that even remembering what you did causes you to hyperventilate and shake?I have. The Valley of Sorrow or My Life as a Well Digger It felt like I had been run over by a freight train. I was stunned. Physiological Consequences of Carrying Emotional Trauma Although many of us carry some form of emotional trauma in our bodies, and therefore in our energy fields, do we ever really stop to question the impact that it is having on our overall health? If you are like most individuals you probably just want to forget its even there. The thought of revisiting it probably just makes you feel sick. Grief If you have ever lost someone dear to you it is likely that you can still summon up the grief that you may still be carrying deep inside yourself as a result of the loss. If this grief, which is usually felt as a deep saddness, is something that you would like to clear in yourself then you may find some hope here. How to Deal With A Death in the Family and Still Run Your Small Business As a small business owner we have to deal with tax law changes, local ordinances, environmental laws, Worker's Compensation, etc. Just when we thought we had everything under control, something terrible happenes. Online Memorial - A Dedication of Love for Your Departed Loved Ones Life has always been a journey, a journey of finding of one true self and happiness. As however destined, all journeys will eventually find its very own destination and it is inevitable that every one of us will eventually have to depart from this world. How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of emotions experienced when we are living in expectation of loss and grieving because of it. Anticipatory Grief is particularly relevant to those who have received a terminal diagnosis and for those who love and care for them. What this Rabbi Learned from Not being Re-hired It's a familiar story, and I have been through it before, and so have you. In January the Synagogue Personnel Committee told me that they were recommending that the synagogue not renew my contract. Then and Now Over one hundred years ago, during the Victorian era, death and grief were popular subjects for poems, songs and stories. Grieving was considered a natural and acceptable part of the culture. How to Turn Grief into Joy I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me, I was with my daddy when his spirit left his body. Tenderizing Recently, the magazine I own and edit got a hate letter that was so full of venom and hostility, it gave me shivers. The ultra-religious lady who wrote it is young and passionate about her beliefs. Online Monument - An Ever-lasting Tribute to Your Departed Loved Ones Memories are never to be buried along with the loss of our very loved ones. To be forever remembered as someone whom we always love, they always should be. When Change Comes (Dealing With Grief and Loss) Needless to say, the time after loss is volatile and confusing for most people. Unresolved issues come to the fore and questions we have not answered must often be confronted. Moving Beyond Grief and Loss In my work as a coach and therapist, I have seen many clients dealing with losses of all kinds-loss of loved ones through death and divorce, for instance. These experiences are difficult for everyone.
|
| Article List | Index | Site Map |
|
All logos, trademarks and articles on this site are property and copyright of their respective owner(s).
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest is Copyright © 2006 CanadaSEEK.com - All Rights Reserved. |