| |
| |
|
Inspirational Information |
|
|
|
The Art of Selfishness
Mature selfishness is the cornerstone of effectively living with passion and purpose. A commitment to self- interest is practical and efficient since you are better able to meet your needs than hope that someone else does. It is the basis for the laws of natural selection and "survival of the fittest." Unfortunately, society has given mature selfishness a bad name. Parents are well intended when they teach their children that selfishness is bad. Infants are primitively selfish and need to learn compromise, delay of gratification, and social interest to deal effectively with others. Yet, there is a continuum from constant, immediate selfishness on one end to always putting other people before you on the other end. Children need to progress from immature selfishness to a more moderate, mature selfishness that incorporates the interest of others. However, teachers, peers, religions, movies, and books continue to send the message that selfishness is wrong; not that it must be moderated. Mature selfishness naturally guides you to people and situations that encourage pleasure, happiness, and even hedonism. But, you have to give yourself permission to be selfish and to meet your desires for fun and relaxation. This may be difficult if you are overly socialized and base your life almost entirely on caring for others; this has been referred to as "co- dependent." Mature selfishness can also be compromised when you carry within you an overly committed Judeo- Christian work ethic. You may feel extremely guilty or anxious when you are not working out of concern that you are being lazy or that tasks are left undone. Mature selfishness is a process of managing a hierarchy of desires including short- and long-term activities from sex and amusement parks to retirement planning. You feel passionate about desires that feel deeply personal, important, and urgent which make you intensely committed toward a course of action. Thus, selfishness is the wellspring of passion. In Stepping Stones: 10 Steps to Seizing Passion and Purpose, (http://www.mysacredjourney.com/bookstore.htm) strategies for enhancing mature selfishness are described. You need to acknowledge to yourself and others that you are committing to healthy selfishness. You may choose to discuss this with your family or friends in a way that provides them some benefit, too. You can practice selfishness by developing a Fun List; this is a list of thirty activities that are fun, whether quietly enjoyable like reading a book or rollicking pleasure like a county fair or whitewater rafting. Over time, you commit to adding items to the list that you can discover through friends, your local newspaper, the Internet, or flyers in the mail. The Fun list becomes the structure and encouragement for "YOU" to practice fun activities including sensual ones. Sensual literally means "of the senses." Overly socialized, hard working people, especially women, may engage in very little sensual activity. Practicing sensuality, e.g., walking through the woods, attending concerts, or getting a massage can help you break through any self-imposed barriers to pleasure. It is up to you to decide how to meet your needs and satisfy your desires; not the world that taught you that selfishness is bad and that everybody matters more than you. You are so precious; you deserve to feel happy. To begin your journey for developing your own mature selfishness, plan to spend three hours every week doing something that only you want to do . . . alone. Then revel in that time and activity that you've chosen. Most importantly, put *your* name in your date book. Remember: start with three hours of selfish time for yourself. Can you do it? Will you do it? It might take your family, partner or co-workers a couple of weeks to get used to the new you, but they will see the positive change in your attitude, your passion, and your commitment to becoming a better you. In the end, they will benefit. So why not start this week? About The Author Dr. Tim Sams is the author of Stepping Stones: 10 Steps to Seizing Passion and Purpose; the book is available through his web site: http://www.mysacredjourney.com/bookstore.htm, and at all online bookstores. Dr. Sams is a University of Michigan graduate who interned at the Long Beach VA Medical Center. He is a diplomate of the American Academy of Pain Management and the American College of Forensic Medicine. He originally trained as a medical and health psychologist with specialty training in behavioral medicine, the melding of medicine and psychology, mind and body. Though he had taken dozens of classes in biology, anatomy, and physiology, over time his clinical passion for alleviating physical pain blossomed and he obtained a Master's of Science with emphasis on the medical basis of orthopedic, neurologic, and myofascial pain. He is a frequent lecturer on pain management throughout the United States. He authored the most comprehensive patient pain manual scheduled for release in June, 2005. He writes a free, biweekly newsletter called Advances in Medicine that you can sign up for on this website. Dr. Tim is a motivator and a teacher; a caring soul who believes that humor is one of the best weapons against pain; that and really good drugs. Dr. Tim has multiple offices in Southern California, consulting to a few dozen pain physicians and hundreds of primary care physicians and orthopedic surgeons. He spends one day a week in his office educating patients at http://www.MyPainReliefDoc.com. He lives and plays in Orange County, California with his wife Lari and his daughter, Leah. He spends most of his non-family free time jogging, swimming, reading, or writing. Copyright 2004. Dr. Tim Sams. All rights reserved.
MORE RESOURCES:
inspirational - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
What is the Meaning of Life? A young man in search of enlightenment had traveled to Tibet at great expense and more than a little consternation amongst his family and friends. It was a week before he was allowed to speak with a red-capped administrator of the Dalai Lama's personal staff; in the meantime he enjoyed the wondrous sights of the Himalayas. I Am? ?you are, he is, she is, they are? But you knew that already, didn't you? Or have you really stopped to think about it recently - or ever for that matter?Huh?I guess we need a little clarification on this. So?do this. Head First I stepped up to the edge and looked down. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath. Be a Star in Your Own Life Do you have the charactertics to be star in their own life? What characteristics below do you have or don't have already? Give each item a rating from 1 to 10 with 10 being you have this charactertics 100%.1. Fickle Fates Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 19, 2004I am currently involved in a wonderful year-long relationship with a man I've known for ten years. We dated briefly all those years ago, but I wound up marrying someone else. Inspiration From Jack Dempsey I really like Jack Dempsey's great one liner: "A champion is someone who gets up when he can't."It summarises, as powerfully and as swiftly as one of his explosive left hooks, the spirit of anyone who refuses to accept limitations and defeat whether they are a boxer or not. Heavy Weather Guide Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 26, 2004My girlfriend and I are basically the same age, just a six month difference. When I went to buy the engagement ring in February, I felt certain she was the right one. Everyone Has Been Hurt...Part 1 I want to share some things with you that I usually don't share with many people. To be honest not many people do know the whole story and that is because I don't really trust many people with this. Have You Ever Felt GOD in You? God is the primordial Creative Force that is believed to have created each atom that we see around us. When you sit and muse, have you ever heard a voice inside you talking to you? That is the voice that is in you, whom you may also call GOD. Small Steps, Great Strides Sacred space, sacred timeBelieve in your personal power, retrieve if lostExplore, enhance creativity to allow flow of positive energyDon't get stuck in a rut, seek out a form of support systemAssess, evaluate your attitude, believe in the power of positive affirmationValue your gifts, your talents, count your blessingsThink once, think twice, think again before making major decisions.Know your capabilities and limitations, your strengths and weaknessesDon't let problems get you down- are you missing the causeListen to your Inner Voice, your intiution, nurture your Spirit, learn to be in harmony with Nature and the elements Learn psychic protection, grounding, balancing , centering, clearing- find out how. The Creative Evolution of Intellectual Properties: The Royal Critters/Whale Magic (TM) Project Hello Creative Entrepreneurs!The moral of that story is to follow your instincts and intuition and don't let others or society judge or label you.You see, my child-spirit told me there was a writer in me all along. Entrepreneur and Mom When I was 12 years old, I had surgery with complications. I was told there was a chance I would not be able to have children. The Best Gift to Give Yourself and Others I'm often asked the question, "How can I best help my children, spouse, family member, staff member, friend etc. improve/change?" In fact that might be the most frequently asked question I receive, "How can I help change someone else?"My answer often comes as a surprise and here it is. Thoughts on Loving Loving. It seems like such a simple concept. Discernment and Judgement Discernment is an inner guide or compass. It is loving and expansive, and offers freedom, honor and options. Eight Choices You Can Make Today that Will Change Your Life Forever The direction of our lives is determined by the choices we make every day. They accumulate and add up to our ultimate destiny. Consulting Your Soul Recently I approached a traffic light where a man stood in shabby clothes with a three-legged dog by his side. As I waited for the light to change I looked at this scene with compassion and felt an urge to contribute something. Attitude Adjustment "If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now. Switch to a Better Channel! Peril, catastrophe and disaster.These are our friends, allies and mentors. Stop Trying to be Perfect In the moment of completing a thought or action, it becomes "perfect," within our ability to do it. Any process is perfect, in relationship to what it created.
|
| Article List | Index | Site Map |
|
All logos, trademarks and articles on this site are property and copyright of their respective owner(s).
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest is Copyright © 2006 CanadaSEEK.com - All Rights Reserved. |
