| |
| |
|
Parenting Information |
|
|
|
Consistent Boundaries Makes Discipline Easier
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many times, however, either the children are in charge or the parents are so eager to be liked, that whatever rules and standards are talked about, few are enforced, especially on a consistent basis. Children, whether they are two or 18, feel more confident when they know that you, the adults, are in charge and that their environment is predictable and safe. They need to be taught what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, what is appropriate, and what is rude and out of place. Though they will get mixed or conflicting messages from the television, magazine and friends, they need you to set and enforce clear, respectful rules and limits. They need to know that you expect them to do and be their best. By providing this guidance you will help them learn how to be responsible, contributing members of society. Consistency in discipline is the number one factor in successful families: It is important that love, respect, cooperation and expectations are unconditional. Consistent boundaries within the family are pretty predictable; for instance: * They will grow up knowing that mom and dad must know the 4 Ws before they are allowed to leave with friends. WHO are the friends, WHERE are they going, WHAT are they doing, and WHEN will they be home. * A child can count on dinner being at six o'clock or there about. * They need to know that bedtime is 8:30 on school nights and that homework is done before playtime. But sometimes in life, opportunities come up that make boundaries and rules flexible. A relative visits from out of town, so it might be okay for the kids to stay up till 9:30 one night to enjoy the experience. Rules can bend occasionally, but if they get broken, we are all in trouble. As long as the family knows that in general, there is a structure that they can count on and limits to what is accepted and what is not, they will flourish in a system that gives them guidelines and direction. Consistent boundaries and standards give a child and the whole family a feeling of security and safety. It is within this environment that self-discipline and life skills begin to flourish and develop. When we, as a community as well as a family, give consistent messages to our children concerning dangerous and unkind behavior, it will be easier for them to forgo temptation to participate. It is our responsibility as adults to help them learn and live by the basic rule that actions have consequences. Those children who develop a habit of thinking about the connection will be in a position of strength. Their choices will be immeasurably easier to make because they have been given a framework for decision-making. Repair or rebuild the boundary, if necessary I encourage you to be firm, consistent and kind in your discipline. It is vital to always follow through. Don't make threats, make promises. If you take away TV privileges the first time he doesn't take out the garbage, but ignore it the second and third time, he will soon learn that you don't always mean what you say. The child will learn how to be a manipulator, and you will still have the misbehavior to deal with. You are the adult, and so it is your job to repair the fence when it is broken or stretched out. Boundaries don't fence us in but rather they allow us freedom to grow and develop, knowing that we are safe and loved unconditionally. It is never a guessing game of what will happen but rather a sure foundation. You can do it. I believe in you. You are doing the most important job in the world, raising self-disciplined, thoughtful and contributing children. © Judy H. Wright, Author, Speaker and Life Educator www.ArtichokePress.com This article was written by Judy Wright, parent educator and author. Feel free to use it in your newsletter or publication, but please give full credit to the author and mention the contact information of JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com, 406-549-9813. You will find a full listing of books, tapes, newsletters and workshops available on finding the heart of the story in the journey of life by going to www.ArtichokePress.com
MORE RESOURCES:
parenting - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Parents Dealing with Worry and Fear Dear Vijay,I worry about not being a good parent. My daughter Tracy is six and my son Michael is four. Parenting Your Teenager: 4 Dangerous Myths MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years will be miserable years for a family.REALITY: Teens do have to separate from their parents and families. Vouchers --- Parents, Dont Depend On Them Vouchers, which give tax money to parents to pay for tuition in private schools, sound good in theory. The problem is that voucher programs are few and very far between. If at First They Dont Succeed - What a Great Opportunity! When kids try new things, sometimes it's a 'fit' and sometimes a struggle.So what's a parent to do when they find that a child is floundering in a new activity? What if your son is in over his head? Or your daughter is not doing as well as either of you had hoped? What if they even fail outright?Often, they're tempted to give up. Dad, Go Ahead and Cry She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her face was lit up with joy. 5 Ways To Tell If A Preschooler Is Living In Your House 1. You reheated the same cup of coffee three times this morning. Promote Physical Fitness for Your Child If your child is to derive the benefits of physical fitness, then physical activity must be habitual and lifelong. Moving should be as routine as brushing teeth and bathing. A Dangerous Environment The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't even begin to believe that your child is safe. Twelve Tips To Connect With Teachers At Conference Time It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you nervous? Excited? Confused? It takes teamwork to raise kids. Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue Q. How do we decide what our teens should be able to do? How do they earn trust and responsibility?A. Why Me? Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count." --Neil MaxwellYesterday morning, my family and I got up at 5:30am in Mexico to begin our journey home from a holiday retreat. Childhood Obesity & Parents Healthy Food Confusion Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for their children. When they are able to opt for healthy choices, about two-thirds struggle to get their children to eat healthily, a poll of nearly 800 parents found. Best Investment Every week I write something about the stock market - how to, when to and where to put your money and how to protect it from loss if you do. This week I want to say something very important to the young folks about success. How Much Water are You Wasting? Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider yourself an environmentally conscious person? Well, how do you wash your car? Do you do it in your driveway? If you wash your car in your driveway with a garden hose and shut-off nozzle, you will use five gallons of water to fill your soap bucket to get suds. You will then wet down your car for two minutes or more, soap your car and then rinse the car for four minutes or more. Fraternal Twin Parenting Concerns Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this article I refer to a fraternal twin in the singular rather than the plural "twins." This is to emphasize the individuality of each twin. The Secret To Keeping Kids Interested on Family Vacations Vacations and trips are great family events, but how do you keep kids interested and busy during the down times? Have them keep journals of the trips and their impressions.Writing JournalsTake a minute to give some consideration to your most recent family vacation. People of the Century by Dan Rather Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got involved in politics where he should not have gone. I personally and millions of American's lost complete respect for him and he left the news media under a cloud of darkness while disgracing his family name and negating so much of his earlier work. Jammin with Your Kids: The Wonderful World of Music Does music need to be "dumbed-down" for kids? The answer became quite clear to me and my husband as we observed how our own child responded to complex melodies and varied musical styles in the first months of her life.When I embarked on the recording of my children's music CD ("Wake Up & Go To Sleep", Artsong Music) shortly after my daughter was born, it didn't occur to me to create a happy little watered down collection of songs made just for young listeners. Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is perhaps the biggest challenge facing adults today. Children's disagreements both at home and at school can be noisy, physical and psychologically hurtful. When Your Chicks Leave the Nest When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he moved into a flat with two of his mates. They were boys we'd known throughout his high school years and the flat was only ten minutes from home, but I cried for two weeks!It just seemed to me that a major part of my life was over.
|
| Article List | Index | Site Map |
|
All logos, trademarks and articles on this site are property and copyright of their respective owner(s).
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest is Copyright © 2006 CanadaSEEK.com - All Rights Reserved. |